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Who's Holding Your Mirror?

A healthy perception of oneself is necessary for mental stability. Your sense of self-image helps with self-care which helps to develop your self-esteem.

For years, studies have been conducted concerning what we perceive as beautiful, why we choose to like one shade over another or even one body type over another. In early childhood, we were guided through what is acceptable and what is not. We have been programmed to create illusions to feel accepted in a society that views beauty is better than character.

How many times have we watched our young girls become groomed to fit what society deemed as correct? We have watched our young boys not be able to embrace their culture so they won’t be feared in public. We’ve heard phrases such as: “girls are to be seen and not heard”, “straighten your hair so you will be more presentable”, or “make up your face so that others will notice you.”

Media has taught us to dress ourselves trying to match the images we see while causing us to ignore who we really are inside. Regrettably, most of us won’t realize the cracks, the imperfections, the uneven blends, or the subliminally toxic products and procedures that have made up our images until we are courageous enough to hold our own mirror.

"Beauty is the external stimulation to what you perceive through sight, smell, hearing, taste, or touch."- Dr. LaTonya Powers

Beauty is defined as a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially sight. Now, do you know what your aesthetic sense is? Beauty, in and of itself, deals with senses. However, natural beauty deals with your features. Yes, your senses and features identify who you are and alerts you to a greater perception of your truth. The truth is that you are uniquely and beautifully made!

Madam CJ Walker

Contrary to what we have been incorrectly taught, some women did not use hair care products because they were trying to look like someone else. It was done because of experiencing hair loss due to harsh work environments and not having access to indoor plumbing to wash their hair. Women wore their head wraps to hide their bald spots. It was known that wearing your head wrapped would result in being classified in a lower social status. As always, black women turn lemons into lemonade.

"Everybody told me I was making a mistake by going into this business, but I know how to grow hair as well as I know how to grow cotton."- Madam CJ Walker

When someone else is holding your mirror, you will spend a great deal of time trying to fix the flaws they have convinced you are there. Do you know how beautiful and unique your flaws are?

That scar you don’t like identifies you as special. Your uneven skin tone says, "there is no one else like you”. Your imperfect body makes you a queen. Don’t become a master at creating illusions that are made-up, while learning how to hide parts of you that shrink the greatest parts of yourself.

We tend to believe what we see even when the information is false. The mental strength it takes to keep up with someone else’s mirror is an unnecessary stress you can get rid of. Beauty does not come in a certain size or color; it radiates within every woman naturally.


  • You be the judge of what you think beauty really is and enjoy it.

  • Know what’s real and do what’s best for you.

  • Never compare yourself to another. The measurement will never be the same. We were all created different.

  • Whatever changes you decide to make, make it based on what you need; not what others may think or want.

  • Surround yourself with healthy relationships who embrace you and not embarrass you.

  • Use positive body language. It’s not important if people agree with you. It’s important they see you believe in yourself.

  • Know that beauty is bigger than physical appearance. Live, love, and enjoy who are becoming.

You are worth the work! It's you and your mirror! Own it!

Dr. La Tonya Powers is a mother, pastor, author, entrepreneur, and community leader. Dr. Powers was destined for what she loves to do, and that is helping people whether in or outside the walls of the church. Need strategy? Navigate to and book your appointment today!

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